Sunday, 31 December 2017

Going into 2018

A bit personal post.

This is what has been playing on my mind for a few weeks already: I'm thinking of settling down.

My story with love and boyfriends started at least 10 years ago, when I was still a teenager.

In high school I knew I wanted to marry early, start a family early, and be happy with only that.

But of course, as you go along and learn life doesn't work in such a simple way.. man, I miss my innocence.

I started having so many relationships, more than I can count. It's like I can't live on my own, and I had this mindset where I need to find my life partner asap.

Then comes uni years. I think I did fall in love really hard once or twice, but looking back it wasn't as simple as love. I was bored, I hated being alone, and I just wanted someone.

In my last relationship, I took the dump really hard.

It was then I decided, enough is enough. No more boys. I could live well on my own, and I could be happy with myself, and learn to love myself first before anyone else.

And I guess I succeeded in a way. I have been single for almost 4 years now.

The worst part is, I love my life so much right now. I love not having responsibilities. I love not having to take care of another person. I love going wherever I want, whenever I want. I rarely feel lonely. I certainly don't feel like I need a man in my life.

Why would anyone give up single life hahahaha. This is the best thing ever.

But then... Then, for the past few weeks, I've been thinking about that childhood dream.

Getting married, having kids, having my own family.

To be really honest, it's not the getting married part that I'm excited about - since I have no one I'm in love with right now. But I just wish I could've had a kid by now.

I'm not planning to get married in 2018, and one reason why is because I already used up most of my cuti rehat hahaha.

But I still wish for something to happen.

Not because I need a guy in my life. But because I'm starting to want to.

Well.. hopefully.

Wednesday, 29 November 2017


I'm awake now because I have been sleeping really early, like 8 pm-ish early. My work nowadays involves me learning new stuffs everyday and trying to absorb like a sponge, so I'm tired every day.

Every single day.

I can't say I regret this, or that I don't like it. I'm giving myself 6 months to a year to adjust, and this is still very early in the adjustment period.

Anyway, happy birthday to me.

Reflecting on life, I have lots of thoughts that I can't pen down right now.

I'm still torn between wanting to travel for the rest of my life and wanting to start building a family.

The first option is ultimately easier, since I doubt my emotional capacity to deal with the second one.

Change is hard, and we all know that. But change is the only way we can move forward.

Oh well.

Happy 26th.

Saturday, 11 November 2017

Leaping out of my comfort zone

Just a week prior to this, I have a hard time trying to wake up on weekday mornings.

It's not like I hate my work.. it's just that I can't find a drive to wake up. Work was static for me - not very enjoyable, except for some of the people I call friends. OPD has become a comfort zone for me, likely so since I've been there for 1 year 8 months. Otherwise, trying to beat time in getting medications ready, ensuring there's no medication error, and ultimately hearing complaints from patients when you're already trying your best are hardly a motivation for me to love what I'm doing.

It's why I go traveling every few months or so - there's nothing that keeps me wanting to stay.

I don't believe now that my traveling habit is going to change anytime soon, since work is no longer enjoyable for me. I don't go to work on weekends willingly anymore, haha. I used to love working so much, I hardly take any leaves or off time. I collected 272 off hours time that I didn't use during my PRP year, believe it or not.

Anyway.. getting to the point. I'm reporting for work in the clinical department starting Monday.


I'm more nervous.

Unlike so many others, I enjoyed my clinical attachment when I was a PRP. I don't love the clerking or the requirements, but I enjoyed learning so many things. I enjoyed being in the ward, seeing and getting to take the time to talk to patients. I love following ward rounds, learning how doctors work and come to a decision. Most of all, I think I love learning about life.

There's so many life lessons to be learnt in a hospital ward. Not surprising, but that's why I love it.

But I'm still nervous, for so many reasons.

1) Am I good enough to become a clinical pharmacist? After almost 2 years in OPD, my knowledge is becoming rusty and needs a good brush up. There's still so much that I don't know. I'm not that smart.

2) Can I become a good communicator and build a good rapport with the ward staffs? People expect the pharmacist to know everything in the ward, and unlike in OPD or IPD, you hardly have a colleague you can confirm something with. I'm going to be left all alone now.

3) Can I be a good preceptor to my PRPs now? OPD stuff is fairly basic, but my clinical knowledge is quite limited, and I am expected to guide them already. Omg..

The only thing that gives me strength is the fact that 1) I can learn, but I need to work hard and 2) for some reason, other people believe that I can do it.

Whyyy? I noticed this pattern since uni years. Smart people will come to me and ask questions, expecting me to know the answers (I don't, because I study at the very last minute in uni). Even in OPD, I have come to be the point of reference for stuffs.

I honestly don't know a lot. I'm not smart, but people expect me to be. And believe me, I want to deliver so bad, because I value being smart and knowledgeable so much.

I worry that I can't deliver in clinical. In wards, or in teaching my PRPs.

I worry so damn much, that last night the minute I plopped down my bags at home, I started looking for my old notes and books and started poring over them. I'm going to be in charge of TDM (among other things....... sigh), and all pharmacists get how exactly excruciatingly hard TDM is.

So.. I guess worrying is a good thing, it's making me study. But I hope it won't overwhelm me, and making me go blur half the time because I can't think or function very well when I have butterflies in my tummy.

I'm so nervous, I'm typing this entry in English even. I'm usually more cautious of my words when I'm using English.

On a positive note, I love this whole process. I get to learn and be seriously awesome in the future (I give myself 6 months to a year before I feel awesome). I'm thankful that people (and surprisingly, my KPF) believe that I can do it and thus injecting the same confidence in me.

I'm grateful that I can be such a social butterfly sometimes, that all the clinical pharmacists already know me and are close with me, so I don't need to build relationships with them from scratch.

Most of all, I'm glad that I'll be flying to Osaka, Japan in a week's time. It's the perfect timing to unwind and probably get a new perspective.

Alhamdulillah, so far everything works in my favour. There's a lot of things that I can work for in life, but good timing is something no one can predict. That, I have only God to be thankful for.

Wish me luck and send me prayers, guys. I'm gonna need it badly for the next few months.


Monday, 23 October 2017

The amazing BHA

So, last entry aku dah cerita tentang AHA, now let's move on to BHA.

Aku memang happy dengan effect yang aku dapat dari AHA - brighter skin, whiteheads cepat hilang, dan kalau ada PIH pun aku cuma perlu bersabar dan dia akan hilang jugak akhirnya.

Sebab itu laa kata kunci bila pakai acids ni - SABAR. Kalau gopoh gapah nak instant results, takut kulit jadi overexfoliated nanti.

Tapi kalau aku cakap kena bersabar, kenapa aku gigih nak tambah BHA, which is another type of acid, dalam routine aku?

Sebab BHA ni lain dengan AHA.

What is BHA?
- beta hydroxy acid, ada sejenis je iaitu salicylic acid/salicylate
- BHA ni oil-soluble, so dia boleh penetrate into deeper pores dan cleanse out pores
- BHA lebih mengeringkan kulit when compared to AHA

Dan aku mula pakai BHA sebab
1) walaupun aku takde blackhead (aku rasa laa lol), tapi sebaceous filaments memang ada especially kat area hidung & dagu
2) nak kurangkan pore appearance kat area hidung & pipi

Bila pores bersih, dia tak laa nampak obvious sangat, dan seterusnya kulit pun nampak halus mulus. Tapi nak hilangkan pores 100%? Impossible! Sebab kulit kita memerlukan pores untuk buang sebum & peluh. What we can do is minimize their appearance by keeping them clean.

Enlarged pores, annoying tau. Gambar hasil carian Google.

Beza sebaceous filaments dengan blackheads. Gambar hasil carian Google.

Sebaceous filaments (SF) ni normal, tapi orang selalu confuse dia dengan blackheads. Basically blackheads ni ialah sejenis jerawat, tapi sebaceous filaments ni bintik hitam yang normal. Kiranya kalau korang rasa blackhead kat hidung korang tu tak hilang-hilang walau pakai apa produk sekalipun, most likely it's a SF, not a blackhead.

Aku pakai CosRx BHA Blackhead Power Liquid, containing 4% betaine salicylate

Friday, 20 October 2017

After 2 months of AHA use

Okay, selingan kepada travel entries ialah skincare entries muahaha.

Bulan Ogos yang lepas, aku bagitahu yang aku nak start pakai AHA.

Bulan September, aku TERRRbeli BHA pulak.

So far, aku baru pakai AHA dalam 2 bulan, dan BHA dalam sebulan. The results?

Like seriously, omg my skin gets so awesome and it super lovessss the acids.

Okay so let me break this down into details. In this entry, I will focus on AHA je dulu.

So, what is AHA?
- alpha hydroxy acids, sejenis kumpulan acid yang digunakan dalam low concentration untuk tujuan exfoliation
- jenis-jenis AHA: glycolic acid (paling common), lactic acid, mandelic acid
- AHA ni water-soluble & bantu exfoliate lapisan kulit paling atas, vs BHA yang oil-soluble dan akan exfoliate ke dalam pores
- sesuai untuk kulit kering since AHA tak mengeringkan kulit as compared to BHA

Why exfoliation is important?
- untuk bersihkan pores daripada impurities - sebum, habuk, sisa makeup, dll
- bila pores bersih, baru essence, serum, dan sebagainya boleh absorb ke dalam kulit dengan lagi pantas & bertindak dengan lebih berkesan
- increase skin turnover - kulit kita usually akan complete shedding cycle dia dalam masa ~28 hari. So bila kita exfoliate dengan kerap, kulit akan complete shedding cycle lebih cepat, so lapisan kulit paling atas ialah yang baru, bukannya dead cells yang dah lama terkumpul atas kulit

Skin turnover cycle. Gambar hasil carian Google.

Aku mula pakai AHA sebab
1) nak hilangkan PIH - post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation
2) nak ratakan warna kulit/brighten (bercahaya?) skin
3) nak kurangkan whiteheads

Aku pakai CosRx AHA Whitehead Power Liquid, containing 7% glycolic acid

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Hong Kong #4 - Dimsum @ Islamic Centre

Episod terakhir siri Hong Kong/Macau. Last day ni kitorang aim nak makan dim sum je kat area Wan Chai, HK Island.

Area Wan Chai & Causeway Bay ni sesuai untuk stay kalau korang berhajat untuk makan local halal food setiap hari kat Hong Kong ni, dan ada banyak tempat shopping jugak. Tapi hotel kat area sini agak pricey. Makanan kat HK ni pun perlukan banyak $$$ *nanges*. Aku banyak refer mengenai halal food kat website Have Halal, Will Travel

Last day, kitorang terus check out dan tinggalkan luggage untuk jalan-jalan dulu memandangkan flight waktu maghrib.

Ni view kat luar lif hostel kitorang. Buluh untuk construction.

Tak tahu kenapa aku obsessed sangat dengan buluh ni hahaha. Aku bukannya arkitek, engineer, or orang construction okayyy.

Camni je dia tutup weh

Okay excuse me for my weird obsession with buluh as construction material, moving on now.

Kitorang jalan kaki relaks je sampai ke Space Museum HK. Pastu jalan di pesisir laut untuk tengok skyline Hong Kong waktu siang pulak.

Sunday, 15 October 2017

Macau Day Trip #2 - St Paul's Ruins & The Venetian

Okay sambung balik cerita di Macau. Bila skip menaip, mula laa malas nak sambung cerita hahaha.

Jalan keliling penuh kedai. Sampai hujung nampak laa view ni

Kalau pegi sini, tolong laa beli dan minum air ni. Ala-ala Chatime, Tealive kat Malaysia. Tapi nikmatnyaaaa sebab cuaca panas gileee.

St Paul's Ruins

Dulunya tempat ni bekas gereja Catholic. Ada muzium kat dalam ni, tapi masuk kena bayar. Kitorang decide untuk jalan-jalan kat luar je. Kat tepi Ruins ni ada taman, tapi kitorang tak rajin nak masuk.

Hang out kat tepi-tepi ni melayan kepenatan dan minum air. Tepi tangga ni rumah orang je weh

View of the other side. Ramai orang

Malas nak crop gambar plis

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

Macau Day Trip #1 - Fisherman Wharf & Senado Square

Day trip to Macau! Selalunya orang pergi Hong Kong akan sekalikan visit to Macau jugak, sama ada day trip atau overnight di Macau. Terpulang laa pada aktiviti, kalau nak berkasino kena laa stay lama sikit kat Macau kan! Ahahaha.

Sama macam HK, Macau or Macao ni merupakan Special Administrative Region of China. Berbeza dengan HK yang heavily influenced by Queen's Great Britain, Macau ni lebih influenced by Portuguese. Macau ni terkenal serata dunia dengan perjudian, dalam dunia ni negara dia laa ramai orang kaya & hidup lebih lama bila compared dengan other countries (info: Wiki).

Info lain yang aku baru tahu, Macau ni baru 'dibebaskan' dari Portuguese rule pada tahun 1999 dan seterusnya menamatkan era European colonialism di Asia. China terus ambik dia masuk SAR lepas tu.

Anyway, kalau dari HK nak ke Macau, boleh naik feri atau flight. Tapi naik feri paling senang, perjalanan pun ambik masa sejam je.

Pemandangan dari China Ferry Terminal


Ada beberapa tempat boleh board ferry ni & harga berbeza ikut tempat kita nak naik tu. Kitorang naik kat China Ferry Terminal sebab dekat je kat Kowloon, option satu lagi ialah dekat HK Island. Beli tiket kat terminal terus, dalam RM200/person untuk return ticket.

Masa kat terminal hari tu, mat salleh depan kitorang acah terkejut gile harga tiket mahal katanya, sedangkan bila aku research sebelum ke HK, memang itu laa lingkungan harga dia..? So aku tak tahu laa ada tiket yang lagi murah ke, tapi memang mat salleh tu blah dan kononnya cari company lain yang jual tiket. Tapi to be honest, kat terminal ni diorang macam jual tiket categorized by destination, bukan company.

Anyway kitorang naik ferry pukul 9 pagi, sampai Macau dalam pukul 10 camtu. Still kena go through immigration jugak ye, huhu malas betul -.-"

Feri yang selesa

Aku plan itinerary kat Macau ni ikut distance tempat tu. Yang paling dekat, lebih kurang 15 minit berjalan dari Macau Outer Harbour Ferry Terminal ialah Fisherman Wharf, so kitorang berjalan ke situ dulu.

Ni dekat Macau Convention Center kalau tak silap. Sebelah je dari tempat yang dituju

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

Hong Kong #3 - Victoria Peak

Victoria Peak ni kategori wajib pergi kalau travel ke Hong Kong. Katanya sebab dia offer view Hong Kong yang paling awesome sekali. Betul ke tak..? Tunggu akhir kata kat hujung post ni ye haha.

Sekali lagi aku booking pakai Klook mobile app, beli Peak Tram Fast-Track Combo, dalam RM30/person. Included: one way ticket ke Victoria Peak naik tram, entrance to Sky Terrace 428, dan kononnya fast track laa, sampai situ boleh terus naik tram haha. Kena tunggu jugak sebenarnya, tapi tak lama sangat compared to kalau beli kat situ terus (rasanyaaaa).

Yang best bila booking pakai Klook ni, ada orang dia merangkap tour guide yang akan tunggu di tempat yang ditetapkan & akan gerak sesama pergi ke tram Victoria Peak. Dia akan guide kita naik tram sampai ke atas. To be honest kitorang beli ticket tu bukan untuk tour guide sangat tapi sebab nak fast track tu muehehe.

Jalan on the way ke tram, nampak banyak bangunan menarik

Tuuuuuu dia penuh orang

Actually kitorang pergi waktu peak hour, pukul 5.30 pm macam tu. Maybe kalau pergi awal pagi, keadaannya tak sesak sebegini. So yeah, memang recommended laa beli tiket online siap-siap sebelum datang sini supaya tak serabut nak beratur dengan crowd ramai camni.

Ramai orang weh

Again, fast track tu kena tunggu tapi memang tak lama, dalam 20 minit je. Aku rasa kalau pergi sendiri, mahu berjam jugak tunggu ni. Crowd dia memang dahsyat, padahal petang Khamis kot.

View dalam tram

Monday, 2 October 2017

Hong Kong #2 - Ocean Park

The next day bangun awal pagi, makan sarapan daripada Malaysia atas belas ihsan bestie (aku memang fail kalau nak ingat pasal makan ni, reti buat itinerary & jalan je) dan terus keluar sebelum pukul 9 pagi.

Aku ingatkan pukul 9 pagi tu dah ramai orang, turns out takde laa ramai sangat walaupun matahari dah tinggi. Maybe orang dah masuk keje kot.

Another art stairs

Jumpa market, bestie nak beli buah -.-" pantang jumpa buah makcik sorang ni

Oldskool style warung kat HK. Rare gile tempat camni. Nak ambik gambar banyak lagi tapi cuak

Aku pun tak tahu kitorang jalan kat mana, main redah je. Tempat ni dekat area Kowloon Park jugak ni.

HK skyline in the morning

Clock Tower

Kat area Clock Tower ni ala-ala transportation hub. Ada bus stop yang banyak dan kat sini jugak ada Terminal Star Ferry. Star Ferry ni macam feri Pulau Pinang laa yang nak menyeberangi Selat Melaka tu. Star Ferry kat sini panjang sejarah dia, boleh naik ni untuk pergi ke Hong Kong Island, tambang HKD 1.50 je. Murahhh, siap dapat view yang awesome lagi.

Star Ferry

Free seating dalam feri. Yang menariknya penyandar kerusi ni boleh tolak ke depan atau ke belakang, senang orang nak tengok view

Salah satu tempat untuk turun

Setahu aku Star Ferry ni boleh pergi kat Central Pier atau Wan Chai Pier. Kalau pergi Wan Chai, lagi dekat dengan area Timesquare, tempat shopping. Kitorang tak sempat pun pergi situ.

Setelah sesat dalam stesen MTR diorang, akhirnya sampai jugak ke Ocean Park! Yang best nya, MTR ke Ocean Park tu baru je siap akhir tahun 2016. Syukurrr tak payah naik bas hehe.


Sunday, 1 October 2017

Hong Kong #1 - Kowloon, Garden of Stars, & Symphony of Lights

Dah lama gile aku tak tulis pasal travel rasanya. Well, I'm backkk! Muahaha.

So aku ada 3 travel stories yang pending: Chiang Mai, Kashmir, dan Hong Kong. Tu yang tak termasuk travel dalam negara lagi tu erkk. Btw aku dah sampai ke semua 13 negeri di Malaysia yeahhh finally! 

Anyway Chiang Mai and Kashmir terpaksa hold on dulu sebab aku malas nak pilih gambar haha (forever alasan yang sama). Let's move on to HK!

So aku fly ke HK dengan my bestie pada Hari Raya ke-4. Maafkanlah anakandamu mama sebab tak reti duduk diam kat rumah. Beli tiket flight pun a few weeks before puasa, memang unplanned compared to my other trips.

Why HK? Sebab I miss traveling to cities. Before this, aku tak pernah sangka that I am actually a city person. I like reliable, dependable public transport, and the cool city skyline. I especially love cities that are near to rivers or the ocean (Melbourne, omg). So bila aku research Asian countries yang dekat dan aku tak pernah pergi to have a city getaway, HK comes first to my mind.

Gugusan kepulauan

This looked so surreal with your own eyes

Berbukit-bukau jugak

Tengah bandar Kowloon

Sebenarnya sampai sekarang aku still confused dengan status Hong Kong ni. Officially, Hong Kong ni namanya Hong Kong's Special Administrative Region of People's Republic of China panjang gile watdehek, ada currency sendiri yang separate dari China, dan ada government sendiri. As far as I understand, diorang takde military capability and depends on China on this. I really need to read up on the world's political and geographical facts tapi aku payah betul nak hadam benda-benda ni hahaha. I'm trying though.

So geographically, HK ni ada 4 districts yang utama: Hong Kong Island, Lantau Island, Kowloon, New Territories, dan Outlying Islands. Tourists usually akan pergi ke 3 districts yang pertama tu je. Kowloon ada banyak attraction points and markets, HK Island ada Islamic Centre (and halal food) dan Ocean Park, Lantau Island ada airport dan Disneyland.

We chose to stay in Kowloon sebab murah dan dekat dengan banyak attraction.

Concrete jungle

Artsy stairs

Kowloon Park


This looks so picture perfect, that lighting ughhh