Saturday, 11 April 2015

little kids

today i spent my morning in a primary school.
entertaining kids and a toddler.

i'm not good with kids.
it has been so long since i had to interact with one:
i have no cousins, no nephews or nieces.
this is an uncharted territory with me.

but if you leave me with a kid, the two of us, alone,
i'm sure i'll know what to do and i'll be fine.
kids in a group just intimidate me, haha.
they're much louder and much more robust.
i'm tiny and i don't impose quite a presence.

but with toddlers,
oh, i love them.
i won't know what to do if you ask me to feed them or bathe them or change their diapers --
simply put, i haven't had an opportunity to practise.

asyraf, almost a year ago.
he's such a big boy now.

but i love them.
their tiny squishy warm bodies
when they grin so happily, so innocently,
when they put their tiny hand on your legs, your knees,
and when they hold your little finger with their whole grip,
it feels like they're clutching my heart with their bare hands.


i might rethink the whole 'no marriage not yet ready' thing
if i could have one of them. lol.

maybe what a friend of mine told me is right:
you'll know what to do when the time comes.

maybe what mama told me is right:
she said she wasn't sure that she could love a baby,
but when the baby comes the feeling comes so naturally.

but i'm so unsure about marriage.


oh well.
we'll see how the next few years go.

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