Wednesday, 29 April 2015

calar balar

i don't consider myself as a very sensitive person.

in fact, one of my many weakness is my inability to empathise.
i can, of course, if you give me an hour or two to mull over the issue.
but when a disaster strikes, i don't feel an overwhelming wave of sadness.
i usually feel nothing.

this may make me seem like a bad person --
maybe i am.

but things happen here that makes my heart bleed every day.

i may not be able to mourn the catastrophes that happen far away from me.
but i see them here every day and my heart aches.
it feels like i'm carrying a ton of rock in my chest.

i don't cry for lives lost on the other side of the world.
how can i?
when here, where we're all fed and safe,
we can't be civil to the next person.
forget niceties, forget sweet smiles and happy faces.
i'm talking about civility.

i can't imagine being you guys,
how much anger you must carry every day:
how much hate.

and i would hate being you.

i'm scared of being like you,
more than i am scared of being thought as stupid.

you guys lack a heart.
and it hurts me every day.

p/s: i will try to adapt.
but i won't imbibe.

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